connection equal happiness
The final element in happiness is spirituality. Without it there will always be something missing. You don’t have to be religious to be spiritual. Even the Dalai Lama, the Buddhist spiri- tual leader of the Tibetan people, recognizes as much. ‘I believe,’ he says, ‘that each individual should embark upon a spiritual path that is best suited to his or her mental disposition, natural inclination, temperament, belief, family and cultural background.’ In other words, you don’t have to identify yourself as a Buddhist or a Christian or anything else – although, of course, you may. An atheist can be just as spiritual as a religious person. In this chapter you’ll learn that connec- tion is happiness and that – fortunately – you’re connected to all life on the planet, and probably the universe. You’ll also learn how altruism – looking after your extended family – is another source of happiness.
No matter how happy all the things I’ve already described make you, there’s always going to be a little ‘hole’ if you don’t include spirituality. Human beings need spirituality. Spirituality has many definitions but I’m talking about your sense of connection with other things-with people you know, with people you don’t know, with animals, with plants, with this planet, with this solar system, with the furthest reaches of the universe.
Two of the most famous words of the twentieth century were written by the novelist E.M.Forste: ‘Only connect!’ We all crave it. we all fear separation. Connection is happiness.
All life is connected
The universe is a very, very strange place. As the biologist J.B.S. Haldane once observed: ‘The universe is not only queerer than we suppose, it is queerer than we can suppose.’ And the ‘queerest’ things of all are you, your dependence on everything else in the universe and your connection with them. In fact, you never can walk alone, even if you want to.
And I’m now going to prove it to you. Apart form anything else, you’ll find it extremely difficult to be unhappy when you know these facts. You should feel exhilarated.
Proof number 1
Everything, including the air, is made of atoms. Atoms are mostly composed of empty space-a nucleus circled at a vast distance (in relative terms) by one or more electrons. One analogy is that if the whole atom was enlarged to the size of the dome of St Paul’s cathedral, the nucleus would only be the size of a grain of sand in the middle.
Since you’re mostly empty space and everything else is mostly empty space, there’s far less difference than you think between you and anything else. In other words, you’re rather like a tornado in the air or a whirlpool in a river with things (nutrients, for example) constantly entering your vortex and leaving it.
Proof number 2
Every single atom of which you are composed came from the stars and has already been in millions of other organisms – because atoms can survive for a million years or more. A billion may well have been in Shakespeare or Boudicca (or any other historical figure you care to think of). Probably none of those atoms has been part of you for more than nine years and the vast majority won’t form part of you for more than a month.
Proof number 3
You have something like 10,000 trillion cells is your body and each cell has millions of compo- nents, including mitochondria, which are the cells’ power stations. Way, way back in time mitochondria seem to have been bacteria, living quite separately and, even now, they have their own DNA, quite distinct from yours. This means that, in a manner of speaking, you’re not a single organism but a whole collection of bacteria living in mutual dependence.
Proof number 4
In 1997, scientists at the University of Geneva succeeded in separating a pair of sub-atomic particles and sending one in one direction and the other in the opposite direction. When the particles were seven miles apart, they changed the axis of one of the particles, and the other – in accordance with the predictions of quantum theory – changed its axis instantly. No one knows how.
To scientists this means that instead of the properties of systems being determined by the properties of the individual parts (the ‘classical’ view of physics), the properties of the parts are deter- mined by the whole (the ‘quantum’ view of physics).
To philosophers it’s proof that, in the words of one Buddhist sage: ‘Things derive their being and nature by mutual dependence and are nothing in themselves.’ Or in the words of the English metaphysi- cal poet and preacher, John Donne: ‘No man is an island, entire of itself.’
It also means there could be some way, after all, of communicating with those people on that distant planet.
Proof number 5
The psychologist, Carl Jung, noticed that certain symbols recurred throughout history in different societies all over the world, even those that had no contact with one another. This, among other things, prompted him to develop the idea of the ‘collective unconscious’. Inside us all are ‘an untold abundance of images which have accumulated over millions of years of development’.
Say ‘hello’ to your very big family
As we saw in Chapter 9, the more relatives you’re close to the happier you’re likely to be. Well, here’s another amazing piece of ‘queer’ information. You’ve got billions of close relatives.
How? Because, according to many scientists, life on Earth successfully began just once. Think about it. it’s staggering. If it’s true it means – it’s connection again – that every single living thing is directly related to every other living thing.
Altruism equals happiness
So I’ve proved to you that you’re connected. So what? Well, quite a lot, actually. Apart from making you far less likely to feel lonely (which is already enormous), connection motivates you towards the happy state of altruism. Research shows that the happiest people are the ones who are doing some- thing to make the world a better place. It doesn’t seem to matter whether it’s a big something or a small something, just as long as it’s something.
It’s not just a question of feeling good about yourself and what you’re achieving, although, of course, these people do. It’s also a question of taking control of your own life. When we do nothing, we feel like victims of outside forces which are, for example, destroying the rainforests, causing the extinc- tion of whales, or bombing children. When we do something about it, we feel more at peace with our- selves.
Meditation and spirituality
In Chapter 6, we looked at meditation. I said then that your reservoir of inner happiness was actually refilled by your spiritual connection with everythin. Now that you’ve read the ‘proofs’ I’ve given above, you’ll know that this isn’t just a fanciful way of talking. When you reach down into yourself in meditation you’re actually reaching out into………………………………………………………… what do you prefer to call it? You could say Nature, you
could say the Great Oneness, you could say the Divine Consciousness. I’ll leave it up to you.
1 Sitting or lying down with your eyes closed, notice your breathing. 2 Without forcing anything, gradually slow down your breathing.
3 Make your exhalations longer than your inhalations. 4 Empty your mind of any thoughts of past or future.
- just concentrate on experiencing the present moment that is your
- If any thoughts push their way into your mind just let them drift past; don’t pursue 7 When your breathing is slow and relaxed, notice your heartbeat.
8 Without forcing anything, gradually try to think it slower. 9 Next notice the sound of your blood in your ears.
- Without forcing anything, gradually try to think if
- In the same way, visit any other parts of your body that you choose.
- Now notice the little dots that ‘illuminate’ the blackness of your closed 13 Imagine the dots are stars and that you’re floating in space.
- Relax your jaw and let your mouth open into a
- What is it that keeps you afloat in space? It is You have nothing to fear; love is every where, within and without.
- You are in a state of bliss.
